J: I’ve got 99 excuses and you won’t believe any of them

Context: Hey compadres! Remember how I said I liked someone?! Let’s call him “excuses”? Well, yeah. So that’s over and done with, and lord knows I love to slander Tinder boys more than Kanye loves Kanye, so let’s get this show on the road. Feel free to share your asshole stories in the comments and we …