“There are a lot of fish in the sea, toots, I’m sure one of them will bite eventually” – Gandhi

Yeah, Gandhi, but the sea is really fucking big, ok?! My cuffing season partner needs to live in a close, metro-accessible location so that he can respond promptly to the following at any hour of the day:

  • “I just pulled nutella-stuffed brown butter chocolate chip cookies* out of the oven and I need someone to help me eat them while they’re still warm”
  • “COME CUDDLE”
  • “I’m hiding in the coat closet because I saw a spider earlier please come kill it help me OH NO HERE IT IS THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO DIE”

So, when I received a very sweet message from a very attractive boy, I was excited… until I saw that he lives in Manassas aka Nowheresville aka get out of my inbox, dude. Our exchange went a little something like this:

today1

Ah, I love it when guys just HAVE to have the last word. But at least he said I seem great! *hair flip emoji*

Also, 35 minutes? Maybe without traffic, buddy. This is DC, not your farm town. Let’s be realistic.

Now, I’m seeking an attractive male to help me do some damage on aforementioned dreamy nutella-filled cookies. Any takers?

cookies

XOXO,
J