Another week goes by without a cuff. And, you know what? I’m doing juuuuust fine. I’ve got my hookups and my dates, and in the meantime, I get to continue my quest for “The One (for a couple months),” and keep giggling at these gems:
The Repeat Offender
Remember this guy? He had messaged me on Hinge before, and I blocked him immediately. Apparently I have short-term memory loss (I blame alcohol, as always) because I swiped right on him on Coffee Meets Bagel (does using four dating apps make me desperate? Debatable. How many fucks do I give? ZE-RO.) You can’t block people on here, though, so I am simply riding out the remainder of our 7-day chat window in utter fear that he will return. Wish me luck! Or don’t! I don’t need your support anyway!
The Funny Guy
This one made L and I laugh out loud. However, every one of his pictures is like this first one (aka I can’t tell who he is aka GET BETTER PICTURES, SIR) and he looks kind of short, so I swiped left. Also, I can’t think of any situation where I would want two inches less than promised, so…
The OMG NO STAHP
Unfortunately, when the wait staff come by my table at any restaurant, I scream YOU SUCK and then take out my phone and start furiously texting everyone I’ve ever met. Other than that, I really think this one would have worked out. Shame, shame.