Context: I was really excited when I swiped right and matched with a tall dirty blonde with an excellent jaw line and obvious sense of adventure. We shall call him “Subway.”
Subway’s opening line should have clued me in. “Gorgeous smile … almost too innocent,” However, no immediate warning signs went off – I suppose I’ve been told enough before that I look “sweet” or “young” so it didn’t warrant any pause.
Naturally I flipped through his pictures again as I contemplated a witty response. I decided on “Gorgeous gorillas … almost too wild” due to a very casual selfie with gorillas in the background (same). This led to a long discussion about both of our adventures in Africa and other wildlife we had seen around the world. At this point I was thinking this guy is pretty cool!
Then, he abruptly changed the subject to inform me that he bet I would make a good sub. I was a little offended by his sexist assumption that I would cook something for him. But, I do make an edible sandwich and he did have some interesting stories so I said, “you bet! I’m a whiz in the kitchen” (complete lie; I can’t cook to save my life). Then he responded: “I’m pretty experienced as a dom, but I’ve never messed around in a kitchen before! Maybe you aren’t so innocent after all.” At this point I was really confused … Does he frequently order Dominos through the Dom App? Has he really never cooked before??
Then he went into a litany about everything he wanted to do as my dom in the kitchen … unfortunately he wasn’t talking about pizza or sandwiches. I’ll let you urban dictionary these terms for yourself if you are as confused as I was during the conversation in question. I’ll keep my innocent smile – thanks!