My favorite conversation of the week! Remember how I said Hinge rocks because it has a field for height? Well, turns out this might not work too well in my favor:

convo

I just have a few issues with this:

  1. His first message. Like, yes, the height I posted is accurate. We have talked before about how I hate when people misrepresent themselves – I am not going to pretend like I am some forest nymph when I’m really a hulking Amazon (who, much to my father’s chagrin, has no talent for basketball).
  2. His SECOND message. One, this implies that we are going to hang out. Which we most definitely are NOT because you’re a moron. Two, even if we were to hang out, you have NO say in what I wear. If that were true, I imagine I would go on a lot more dates in my birthday suit. Also why the fuck would I wear heels on a first date? I get way too sloppy drunk when I’m nervous for that kind of balance challenge.
  3. Lol @ the 10 hours later “Just kidding”. Just lol.
  4. “How’s your day go.” You know, punctuation is really a miraculous invention – I’d say, the best thing since sliced bread. I’m about to blow your mind, so sit down. Seated? Good. There’s a punctuation mark… called a question mark… that you can put at the end of your QUESTIONS! NO WAY. Crazy. Also, “go”? Do you mean “going”? Or is it like, “How’s your day? Go!” which is a weirder statement. I really can’t tell, because apparently you never learned punctuation or maybe are using T9 and it’s just too much effort on your Motorola Razr.
  5. “Or not.” YOU FINALLY GET IT!! Not! Yay gold star, snaps for you, sir.

God, I love people.