Date Stories, J

J: I’ve got 99 excuses and you won’t believe any of them

Context: Hey compadres! Remember how I said I liked someone?! Let’s call him “excuses”? Well, yeah. So that’s over and done with, and lord knows I love to slander Tinder boys more than Kanye loves Kanye, so let’s get this show on the road. Feel free to share your asshole stories in the comments and we …

M, Messages

M: I love a good sandwich!

Context: I was really excited when I swiped right and matched with a tall dirty blonde with an excellent jaw line and obvious sense of adventure. We shall call him “Subway.” Subway’s opening line should have clued me in. “Gorgeous smile … almost too innocent,” However, no immediate warning signs went off – I suppose I’ve been told enough …