Don’t roll your eyes at me, guys. I’m, like, really tired. So much, in fact, that one of my dates last night so kindly pointed it out to me, adding a sour note to my glass of chardonnay.
He said something to the effect of “you look exhausted.” I’m honestly not sure how he knew that, because I looked phenomenal, but I trusted him because he was paying for my meal.
And, he was right! I had spent 11 hours at work the day before, and come home to drink an entire bottle of wine while I watched Charlie St. Cloud and sobbed (ZAC EFRON 5EVA).
I took a long, hard look at my life. Am I really upset/angry/loopy/whatever negative emotion has been permeating my life recently, or am I just tired? Is the real reason I don’t have Ass Like Serena (yet) because my preferred serving of wine is a bottle, or because I’m lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a night? I honestly didn’t know.
So, I’m going to sleep. And, since I have determined through extensive experimentation that writing while sleeping is difficult, I will just post some of the highlights of my dating app experience over the past few weeks. Enjoy!
When I allow my guy friends to Bumble for me…
This guy’s bio was “Just started going to the gym.” My friend K decided to share in the joy of new experiences.
The nice guys…
…and the not so nice guys.
SOS SOS ABORT MISSION
What a time to be alive.