J, TDR Dating Challenge, Uncategorized

TDR Dating Challenge: Don’t Ghost (Day 13)

It’s Saturday and I am HUNG. OVER. Yikes. Like, not even chilaquiles and sangrita swirl from Lauriol Plaza were able to revive me hungover (as much as I tried). However, the posts must go on, as they say! And we’re on unlucky day 13 of the TDR Dating Challenge, immortalized as it should be with a spooky tip about ghosting.

Tip #13: Ghosting sucks. If you go on a date and you are not interested, tell the person as soon as possible. Call or text them and politely let them know you enjoyed the date, but didn’t feel a romantic connection. They may be hurt momentarily but they will be glad you didn’t disappear.

Y’all, there are approximately 984957 posts on Tinder District involving ghosting of some form. One of the first, just around the time this terminology was introduced (am I old?), is this jaded-ass piece where I was clearly on my period or some shit. If you don’t care to read it, it’s all about how fuckboys are awful and why I would never ghost anyone again.

Hahahaha. That went well.

Since then, I have ghosted on several guys, and been ghosted on by just as many. Is it ideal? No, ideally everyone would be in love with me. KIDDING. Kind of.

However, I think the culture and lexicon of “ghosting” has shifted over the past couple of years. If you go on an alright first date and neither of you texts the other afterwards? Not ghosting. There’s no need to dwell on it any longer than you already have – on to the next.

However, if you cross the second date/emotional investment/sex threshold, then yes – a text is warranted. Especially if one party is expressing that they had a good time and want to arrange something for the future. It’s much better to let them know how you feel than to leave them wondering whether you accidentally put your phone in the washing machine. Not that I’m speaking from experience. Or anything.

Here’s a template! Copy and paste this into the Notes app on your phone for the next time you need to let someone down easy:

Hey [name]! I had a great time [last night], but I don’t think it’s a romantic connection.

THAT’S IT. THAT’S ALL IT TAKES. You don’t need to let them know it’s because they were too short for you, or because they live with their parents, or own a snake, or whatever it may be. If they ask for “feedback” then it’s up to you if you want to provide it (but do so at your own risk).

And, ladies, if you’re wondering why you’ve been ghosted, I’ve put together this comprehensive list that should put your mind at ease.

XOXO,
J

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